Marriage and happily ever after... yeah right

Why do people get married? Well I often ask myself questions that are really not concerning me, profound... ain't I? :P Well, was talking to a friend of mine about that today and she seemed pretty eager to take the next step, desperate even. But ok... I guess who doesn't dream of the perfect day, the gorgeous dress (ok the gay in me took over and I feel the need to mention that I'm not a DragQueen :P) and the illusion of permanent happiness. But that is all... a beautiful illusion. How many people you know that come from broken homes? Me? Too many if you ask. Most of them rush into something totally unprepared. Sometimes I even think that the only reason people are getting married is to feel secure. And if that's so... do love and marriage even go together? Would any of us marry someone without a steady income, good family or... God knows... any of the demands we require for boasting in front of people, soly on the basis of love? I mean, don't get me wrong or anything... I do believe that people are capable of loving someone, but is loving someone forever possible? I guess only time will tell and with a bit of luck (cross your fingers :P) I'll be able to marry someone someday hehe.

A family?

Ok... so it's like this, today started pretty normal... got up, had coffee, went to the "university" (for another coffee with my best friend :P) and everything was right on track, until someone called me. It was my friend's boyfriend from high school to inform me that she had a baby this morning. I was speechless, I mean I knew she was pregnant and everything but I guess I never could imagine her as a mom... we had way too many drunk nights together :P. Normally I was overwhelmed and still am, I mean WOW! So I got together with another friend from my ex school and went to her place. Although she was still in the hospital we sat down with the whole family... they're nice and she's lucky to have someone like her boyfriend. To get to the point... a lot of drinks later I realized something... that's something I'll never have. Especially in a country like this... when being gay is challenging enough. I'm not one of those people that are constantly bitching about injustice but it can get sad from time to time. I always imagined myself as a family man with at least three kids, hehe. But once you admit something to yourself it's pretty hard to press undo... plus I went trough hell and back to come out and I'm not going right back in the closet. My nieces and nephews are going to be sooo spoiled :P Hopefully my sis is going to make an "oops" one of these days, haha. So basically that's it and this post goes to my future family that will never happen... blurry picture may you be real some day... :(

Day 1

Today wasn't really an eventful day but since it's my first day as a blogger I have to document it :P.
Basically it started slow... mainly cause I was out all night drinking with friends and this morning had a major headache. And it was totally not worth it... well the second part of the night was. First we went to a local gay club (which sucks btw) and I should mention that it's the only one. The club is pretty small and probably can fit around 80 people. Yesterday?! There were like 200. Can we say a ZOO? YES we can!!! The best of the best and the worst of the worst... everything was there. I go there cause of the freedom to dance and make a fool of myself in public (I love that feeling when people see you like you've fallen from the moon :P:P:P) and just hang out and be with friends. But... I guess for most gays that's the perfect place to pick up guys and of course everyone presumes you're easy. I hate that! It wasn't until recently when I realized that grabbing someone's ass is considered as hello :P. Imagine my surprised reaction to that... well you can't, but if you knew me in person it would have be hilarious. Back to the story... I got in a fight with three bitchy queens and was on the edge to kick their asses but didn't. Wasn't in the mood to destroy my night over something as banal as frustrated she-males. But of course there were other factors... luckily my friends decided it was time to go and I was happy to oblige. Then we went to a retro club which I like very much but... and yes, there's a but... it was overcrowded yet again. They play good music but me and my friends have a name for it... last chance. Basically cause 40something people go there and desperately try to hook up. So we were like fresh meat, hehe. Too bad it's officially a straight club cause I'm definitely into older :P but I guess older WOMEN like me... too much if you ask me :P. We danced and fooled around a bit and it got late so we headed for home.
So another work week starts and my bday is coming soon. Man! I feel old :P. But I can't wait to spend it with my closest friends and finally to get to see them... everyone has exams, bfs, gfs and we haven't been really together in ages. So I guess I'm looking forward to it :D

Here I am

I guess this is going to be like most blogs in here but I do need a place where I can write my thoughts, opinions, fears and happy moments.
A short bio on me:
Soon to be 20 and already feeling way too old :P. Born in a small country which I love but can't wait to move. Second year in the university and supposedly with the gift for learning languages. Average looking and always with a big smile which I see as a defense mechanism but people like it... it gives them comfort. And I guess something I should mention... gay.