Random thoughts before the morning coffee

For some people living alone would be a dream come true and the immediate emergency for being left alone would be considered a blessing in disguise… Why!?! What’s so good about being alone most the time anyway??

Jeez… I can’t take a break. I know that I’m only using this blog as way to blow off steam but seriously!?! It has been one fall after another and I’m not sure how much more I can take. Because of some stupid unwritten law, saying that everything mustn’t go smoothly, I am spending most of the time wondering “what did I do wrong this time”. My mom is apparently ill and needs money for hospital so she took on a stupid 24 hours job (literally) and is not telling me why, my sister is being a raging bitch and thinks that if she’s moved out she doesn’t have the need to even call to check up on anybody, plus is not telling me what’s wrong with my mom. And where is that leaving me? Sitting alone at home 24/7 taking care of the household with Cerberus- the watchdog from hell whose amusement comes from going through the garbage and leaving it all around the place which is (and I’m only guessing) awfully fun…
I’m one of those people that need to have their own space… but not 4 freakin’ rooms. I need the company and I need to be even around abnocsious people… just to be around someone. I started talking with the animals, not a pretty sight cause it can turn into a whole conversation (and not crazy over here :P).
My friends try to be a support and I’m lucky to have every single one of them, but it’s not enough. It has been long since I felt the proper family love and when things started so get better, when we all started communicating and acting like a real family… something like this happens and leaves us where we were 3 years ago, total strangers to each other. I can deal with the fact that I live alone, I can deal with the fact that my sis has moved out but I don’t want to deal with the fact that I was left with one parent by the time I was 15 and maybe 2 parents less by the time I’m 20. I guess that’s my biggest fear. I sure hope that someone will feel the need to inform me what’s going on because I’m feeling emptiness like never before.